1967 My Summer of Love
by Without-Reason-Without-Rhyme
Summary: It's 1967, and Santana is sent away to stay with her aunt for the summer. She couldn't have anticipated such a change in lifestyle. As the summer goes on the boundaries that had been set for her start to become blurry and the line between right and wrong begins to change. This is Santana's summer of love. It's her summer to change. Warning: lots of references to drugs.
1. Change of Clothes, Change in Attitude

_**My Summer Of Love **_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do however own this story, I'm just borrowing the characters. **

**A/N: **So I don't know whether to make this a complete ff or if I should just make it like 3 chapters - I guess that's really up to you guys so please be vocal if you want more. Anyway I had this idea pop into my head and I haven't been able to shake the thought. There will be a lot of drug references in this. In particular LSD. If the discussion of drugs makes you uncomfortable then maybe this ff isn't for you. Feedback is really important to me all kinds - positive or negative, I do ask that it be constructive criticism though not just random hate.

Oh and here's a link to my tumblr if you wanna listen to the theme song for this chapter : tumblr blog / with - or - without - you88 (don't forget to remove the spaces and put th bit infront!)

Thanks! C x

* * *

**Chapter 1 ~  
Change of clothes, change in attitude.**

Let me tell you a little about my family, how a white twenty two year old military man fell for a Hispanic sixteen year old – and were married shortly after my mother got pregnant. In a world that frowned upon interracial marriage, the fact that they were able to marry in 1950 was truly an accomplishment indeed.

Sometimes I'm in two minds over this little revelation. They thought that I had never figured it out, that my mother was pregnant with me before marriage. But I did and I wonder, was I solidifying their love for each other or merely forcing them together out of obligation? Knowing the way my father was – a deeply self righteous, pious man heavily steeped in morality and rules, he probably saw it as a misconduct, a sin on his soul and thought marriage would cleanse him of it.

I was almost certain that the reason his shoulders were broad were to support his many hypocritical beliefs. He was a physically imposing man with a strong jaw line, shaved head and green eyes that made him seem constantly jealous. He never showed any kind of emotion towards me and my mother, I think we were just _there_ to him. Not actual people but inconveniences to the way he wanted to conduct his life.

Normally when one parent is cold you believe the other parent will be significantly warmer – understanding even. But she wasn't. My mother was stifled in every single way, she wasn't allowed to speak Spanish, which meant that I didn't know how to speak the language of my ancestors. The only friend she had was the woman next door – the only time they would speak to each other was whilst hanging washing up on the line in the back garden. My mother took pride in our clothes being the cleanest on the block, it was a small victory and I couldn't understand why she took such pride in clothes but I guess it made her happy. My mother wasn't even allowed to paint; I didn't even know that she could paint until I stumbled across an oil depiction of a tree slowly decaying at winter time. My mother in short was very much tethered to my father and would bend to whatever wish he asked.

And me? Well, I Santana Marianne Hartley was told to be quiet and do as I was told. So when I was told I was going to my aunt's for the summer I didn't question it. When I was told to pack to leave the next day I didn't utter a word. When my father imparted his last piece of advice in the doorway, raising an accusatory finger at me and with a biting tone said "No hippies Santana. Don't talk to them, don't dress like them and don't listen to their music." I said ok, but this didn't satisfy his nervousness. "I mean it Santana otherwise God will judge you."

With those heavy words pressing upon my own shoulders I slid into my aunt's ruby red Corvette Stingray. Where my parents had hardly any money at all, this mysterious aunt of mine appeared to be rolling in it. Once we hit the road and my house was out of sight my aunt began talking. It was a shame I couldn't understand what she was saying, speaking a language I didn't know.

"Sorry aunt -"

"Call me Ana" she said with a smile and it seemed so incredibly out of place to see someone from my family smile.

"I don't understand what you are saying Ana, or, if I'm honest who you really are." At this she seemed aghast, I was so worried I had offended her.

"Does your mama not speak Spanish to you? Has she never taught you?" Worried that I had done my mother a disservice in some way I tried quickly to take back my words. But how could I pretend to know Spanish? There was just no way. I pushed my hands between my knees; it was always a nervous habit of mine. In the back of my mind I found it somewhat amusing that she didn't really care that I didn't know who she was.

"Santana, you are a Lopez you should know about your heritage"she spoke it sternly as if it had been my fault that I didn't go in search of something that I was even aware of. But something I had learnt already is that my aunt over gestures every word she says. But I nodded politely, not daring to say another word in case I may make my parents look bad. Plus I felt very uneducated compared to her now and slightly ignorant.

"Anyway, how old are you Santana?"

"Seventeen," it was very unlike me to be timid, but there was something about this woman that caused me to fear her. Maybe it was her bold clothing - a concoction of colours set in psychedelic swirls, looking as if they had been melted into ripples. Or maybe it was her abundance of jewellery that clanged and the bangles that clunked together upon her wrist, punctuating each word she said with the sound of ringing metal. Her clothes screamed that she was freer than my parents, but her demeanour implied that she was just as regimented as my father.

"Then you'll love it in my neighbourhood, plenty of teenagers for you to hang around with." She took a glance at me then refocused back on the road. "And maybe we can get you some more up to date clothes."

I looked down at what I was wearing - a dark green and bright white summer dress that fell to my mid-calf and little capped sleeves. From where I was from my clothes were never frowned upon.

* * *

Ten hours and nine minutes later we were pulling up into Ana's driveway. It seemed like all of my senses had been dulled before I arrived here. As we drove along, men and women were dressed in beautiful bold colours just like my aunt, women were wearing pants just like men. The men had long hair, beards and excessively large side burns and yet around them there seemed to be an air of calm and tranquillity. I couldn't understand why people feared them. Maybe they saw this new movement as a threat to traditions – maybe it was a justified fear.

Masses of people were gathered on lawns, talking, debating and passing along wisdom. I could feel my pulse quicken with excitement, just being here I felt free, I felt _alive_. But then I looked down again and realised I wouldn't fit in here, and I remembered my father's demand.

I felt awkward and out of place. As I got out of the flashy car I smoothed down my dress making sure I looked clean and pressed. When I saw my aunt's house for the first time it was gorgeous. A steep driveway led to a solid mahogany door. It looked so incredibly old and quirky with its pink/red paint and slanted windows. There were two balconies on the front and a porch on the side of the house – I couldn't fathom the placement for such a thing.

"So welcome to L.A. Santana mi chica preciosa! We are going to - " she wheezed a little from exerting herself up the steep incline of the driveway. "-to see my friends for dinner tonight. So as soon as you're ready we'll leave here ok?"

I nodded as she unlocked the door, nervous to be meeting new people already. I wasn't allowed out of the house back at home unless it was to attend school. I had very few friends there and by friends I mean people that I would just say hello to.

I pulled out a fresh dress and retied my hair back up into a ponytail. Upon seeing me Ana shook her head muttering something in Spanish, she pulled me along to her room and started going through her closets trying to find something that would vaguely fit me. After trying on various skirts and trousers the pair that fit me best were red velvet trousers finished off with a dark blue handkerchief tied around my right thigh, it matched the deep blue of the circle print shirt I was wearing with the buttons undone to show off the roundness of the tops of my breasts. I felt exposed and indecent but my aunt assured me I would fit in. I wanted to rebutton it up to the very top. She loosened my hair and applied some water imparting further knowledge "if you are a true Lopez your hair will go wavy with just a bit of water."

Of course she was right and she looked on proudly as people stopped to talk to me in the street. But such an open display of friendliness made me anxious and my fingers slipped to rest in the pockets of my trousers, it was my only reassurance in such a strange place as this.

"So this is Dan and Lydia's place. You can find the people of your age in the hut out the back, that's where their daughter is anyway." I nodded but otherwise kept my mouth closed.

We walked in through their front door without knocking and I was surprised to see that they left their door open for anyone to wander in. The decor that I was confronted with was... interesting to say the least. An entire wall was covered in hand prints of different colours, covering as much of the white wall paper as possible, as we progressed through into the front room there were nudes everywhere, breasts, penises and the female and male forms were expressed in every way possible. in the centre of all this was a white fluffy shag pile rug sitting on the floor, with a man in very little clothing sitting on it. My aunt greeted Charles warmly and whispered to me that he liked to come and meditate here a lot.

My aunt was giving me a guided tour, explaining how Dan and Lydia wanted a free space where everyone was welcome and they could conduct themselves in any way that they pleased. It scared and yet thrilled me all at once.

We came to the kitchen and again there were more bright prints that started to make my eyes sting. I wasn't used to it and it was starting to make me feel a little sick. "Oh that's their daughter there" she gestured eagerly out of the window. We both took a step through the door and out into the back garden I could see the hut just at the end.

"Brittany over here!" she shouted, waving and pointing to me. From the moment I saw this girl I didn't know where to look. I was affronted by the image of her running across a lush green lawn in nothing but her deep pink bra and bright yellow panties, being chased down by some guy in bell bottom trousers and no shirt. There was no concept of properness around here and it wasn't something I was used to. I had never seen so much flesh before today.

When Brittany made it to where we stood I could tell immediately that there was something off with her whole demeanour. She seemed fidgety and as if she were bursting with energy, but most notable was that of her dilated pupils. She pulled me into a hug without saying a word; it was an odd sensation being pressed so tightly to someone almost naked. When she let go I noticed her eyes were focussed off to the left. She smiled brightly and in a conspiratorial way asked us if we had seen the bear or the unicorn. I looked to my aunt for help, but she shrugged and pointed towards the guy with the bare chest waiting in the corner opposite to the hut.

"Is he the bear?"

Brittany squealed, seeing something that we simply couldn't see.

"You're the unicorn," Brittany replied hysterically, grasping my hand with her own clammy hand. As we began to run I turned back around to look at Ana who was grinning at me. My heart was racing as we sped towards the hut; the bear was hot on our trail.

"Unicorn, run. Run unicorn before the bear gets you," her voice was filled with panic as if it were really a life or death situation.

I felt so strangely content and on edge all at once I didn't quite know what to do with myself. But when I looked at Brittany and saw a smile as bright as stars I felt myself returning it.

I had a feeling right within my chest that this would be the best summer of my life. It could be my own summer of love.

* * *

Please read and review!


	2. Unicorn and the Moonlight Nymph

_**My Summer Of Love **_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do however own this story, I'm just borrowing the characters. **

**A/N: **Thanks guys for checking this out. Please don't hesitate to review. This ff is going to be light hearted compared to my other ff's where they are incredibly depressing. I have an idea of what to do with this ff, but if there is anything you're dying to read message me or something and I'll see if I can incorporate it.

So please, please, please review.

Thanks! C x

* * *

**Chapter 2 ~  
Unicorn and the Moonlight Nymph.**

She pulled me into the hut slamming the door in the face of her pursuer; her laughter came out in short gasps. She fell onto the plush single seat chair and brought me down on top of her causing a tangled mess of legs as I landed on her lap. She threaded her arms around the small of my waist and brought me closer.

I became very hyper-aware that I was sitting on another girl's lap who was in her underwear – who I had met five minutes before. As she leant against me I could've sworn she inhaled a little deeper. It was unnerving being so close to someone and I felt the muscles in my shoulders tense as she grabbed at a lock of my hair and began twining it around her fingers. I took a moment to really look at her and try to establish some kind of common ground.

Brittany first and foremost looked exhausted. She had dark purple/ blue skin beneath her eyes and I wondered that if I leant out and touched the bruised looking skin would it hurt her? But her eyes retained some kind of sparkle to them looking as if they were pure blue sapphires hidden beneath a fringe of thick light brown eyelashes. Her face looked soft, her cheeks dusted with a faint rose pink, and her lips were full and rouged. Of this I was sure – I was envious of Brittany and her effortless beauty and style.

Her hair wasn't brushed neatly, it was scruffy looking but still hung straight around her face and if you looked closely enough you could see the different degrees of blonde bleached by the sun, other strands look to be woven from gold. At the top of her hair it was almost white and the underneath of her hair had a chocolate mixed with caramel colour. I wondered if it was soft, but touching her hair seemed too intimate for strangers, especially two girls.

"Well as Blue Blotter is too out of it to introduce us I'm Mercedes..." I turned around roused from my deep analysis of Brittany and all the different colours that make her who she is. I realised that we weren't the only two people in there. Mercedes offered her hand but as I tried to get up Brittany tightened her grip around me, stroking my hair more enthusiastically than before. I felt silly for doubting to touch her hair in return; she was clearly comfortable doing so. I smiled my warmest possible smile, hoping to convey without the use of words how sorry I was that I couldn't say hello properly. I already liked Mercedes; she seemed like a good person although I couldn't pinpoint exactly why I thought that. Her hair was so shiny, thick and lustrous, the curls of her afro bounced with every slight movement. The orange and green headband matched the orange of her maxi dress. It contrasted nicely to the rainbow beads that hung from the bottom of her waistcoat. I think I liked her because she seemed so joyful, in the way she conducted herself and the way she expressed herself through her clothes.

"I'm Santana nice to meet you." I waved as a way of a consolation as I couldn't physically get up; Brittany was coiled around me, abandoning rubbing my hair to instead draw circles on my back.

Mercedes gestured over her shoulder to some blonde boy hunched over an oversized looking pipe on the floor.

"This is Sam" her smile grew a little wider.

Sam's clothes were fairly flamboyant but I could not take my eyes away from his hair. It was sticking out in all directions, looking brittle and dry, I grimaced at it. When he looked up his eyes were blood shot and his top lip was obscured beneath a handle bar moustache. He looked awful and dirty, but I remembered my manners and offered him the same courtesy I had given Mercedes. He nodded and went back to sucking on the pipe and staring at the wall. He made me a little uneasy. She began reeling off names pointing to this person with that haircut or those trousers or this skirt. It got incredibly confusing, and the hut wasn't nearly as small as I first thought it to be.

Whilst in the middle of explaining about who the bear was (his name being David), Mercedes and the whole aura of the hut was disturbed when a girl in a pretty dress, similar to the one I was wearing this morning made herself known.

"Sammy, mom says get in the car now." At the sound of this girls voice Sam turned around frowning slightly. Even I could see he was struggling to focus on her.

"Why Quinn? Why would mom be here for me?" He could barely speak, his words slurring and sloshing around in his mouth, but I watched with a keen interest as Mercedes looked on sadly as he scrambled to his feet. At the sound of movement Brittany clung to me tightly and began nuzzling my arm.

"You can take Sam" she murmured, "but don't take the unicorn."

Quinn rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you have forgotten Sam. It's our uncle's funeral first thing tomorrow! Don't you remember? We have to do an overnight drive to Oregon. Remember?" Apparently he didn't. I expected him to say something, anything really in acknowledgement of his oversight. He didn't and strode out of the door in front of his very annoyed looking sister. He was still clutching the pipe in his left hand. I looked back at Brittany wondering if it was her property and if she'll even miss it.

"That's Sam's older sister," Mercedes stage whispered. "Quinn likes to think she is superior to everyone, that's why she dresses like she was stuck in the 1950's." I was too ashamed to confess that I had been dressed exactly like that this morning. I wonder if she would think I felt superior to them if I had turned up like that.

Everyone carried on discussing and debating as if nothing had even happened. Brittany finally let go of me, to push me off of her lap and sprint out the door. My side made a cracking sound and when I rolled onto my back Mercedes was offering up her hand. I took the help gratefully, standing in time to see just beyond the window Brittany forward rolling and jumping back up into a run, screaming that the purple was trying to get her.

I dusted myself off and sat back on the chair.

"So Mercedes, what's up with Brittany?" At this Mercedes let out an incredulous laugh. "You're kidding right?" I shook my head, staring intently at her until she gave me a specific explanation.

"She's on acid, you know, LSD? She'll be wanting to stick her head into a bowl of water in a second, your mouth tends to get super dry after taking that stuff." I'm sure my face was a picture; I couldn't believe drugs were so readily consumed in her parent's garden when her parents were home.

"So who's Blue Blotter?" I asked curiously hoping to steer away from the topic of drugs. Mercedes mouth twitched up into a smile.

"Brittany's eyes are blue and another name for LSD is blotter. It's her nickname. She's the only person I know who has taken LSD routinely and not had a bad trip yet."

My mouth formed an o of recognition but we didn't broach the topic further.

"So who's that guy?" I gestured to the corner of the room lit by various candles. He was being rubbed down by some girl, her fingertips tracing his snail trail from his belly button down towards his trousers. He looked like he was trying to copy John Lennon with his tinted glasses and stubble.

"That's Noah he thinks of himself as the ultimate love god. He's been involved with everyone here, with the exception of you."

I scoffed lightly. "What even the boys in here?" I said it as a throwaway line, a joke even, but she looked on seriously. "Yes he has - everything from just kissing to sex."

"So he's gay?" I was so incredibly curious. He would be the first gay person I had ever met.

She laughed lightly. "You really aren't with the times are you? He's into the belief of free love. He believes that everyone deserves his love. That's the only thing him and Brittany really have in common."

When I looked up Noah winked at me. He looked slimy and knowing that he had been with everyone here in one way or another it made me feel sick. He has no respect for his body.

I gestured to the boy on the sofa near to Noah. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and also a dead ringer for one of the Beatles. Every now and again he would straighten his white jacket and fumble with the top button of his pink and white shirt. Compared to the other guys in here he looked clean and smart. His side burns were ridiculous though.

"That's Kurt. He's one of the coolest guys around here; he has a real eye for fashion..."

"And I have a fantastic ear for gossip." I hadn't noticed that he had gotten up, but he seemed nice too.

"Mercedes my ears were burning again, you really should stop talking about me! So who do we have here?" I could tell he was looking at my clothes. I know I had only just met the guy but I desperately wanted his approval.

"I'm Santana. Lopez. Santana Lopez." His face lit in recognition.

"Ana's daughter?"

"No I'm her niece." A tense silence fell, so I tried to break it the best way I can. "So do you have a girlfriend?"

He blushed.

"Something like that." His gaze ran all around the room and I couldn't see where it settled. His non-committal answer had me wondering.

"So Santana, have you ever smoked pot?" Mercedes asked quickly. I could lie and pretend that I knew what it was. I could but I didn't.

"I don't think so. Is that another drug? Because I haven't done any drugs before."

Kurt's eyes widened as he brought his hand to his chest. "Oh dear God" he muttered. I felt embarrassed for my lack of experience.

"Well have you smoked a cigarette before?" Mercedes asked whilst fumbling with some paper and what looked like moss.

"I tried smoking once." I started feeling nervous.

"Well it's like smoking tobacco but..." Mercedes hesitated.

"Better." Kurt said with finality. She smiled as she handed it over to me.

"Inhale deep, you'll start to feel the benefits in a couple of minutes." The first time I choked, but after the third and fourth inhalation I felt great.

"So Santana what do you think of the hut then?"

"I think it's made of wood. Noah made it. Like his boat, his ark that my father believes in." It was like time was accelerating around me, I could feel it moving fast, but people were walking and talking slow. I closed my eyes and when I reopened them I was outside lying next to Brittany.

I closed my eyes and when I reopened them I was standing hugging Brittany beneath the moonlight. She looked like a moonlight nymph. Time was jumping too much.

"You smell like flowers." I wasn't sure which one of us two spoke the words. She leant in closer breathing promises upon my throat. Her hands stroking across my shoulders then down my arms to clasp our hands.

"I bet you feel cooler now." I wrinkled my brow and looked down to see my shirt unbuttoned to my navel.

"Run with me unicorn."

"Only if you lead the way my nymph." We ran for eternity, her blonde hair catching silver as the tendrils tickled at my face. I started laughing and I couldn't stop. I could feel the pull of pain in my chest begging me to breathe and yet I couldn't stop laughing.

"Be wary unicorn, the bear and the snake might get us." I nodded in earnest as we crept between shadows. I pulled her to the front of my body using her as a human shield.

"Santana, Brittany where have you guys been?"

I blinked into the faint glow of a lamp, being held up to us both and sending the shadows back into the depths of darkness.

"Do you two want anything to eat?" It was my mother. My mom was here to ruin my first night. She was here to ruin my first friend.

"Mom why are you here?" I panicked a little more and pressed Brittany tighter. She might as well share my clothes; we were already sharing sweat caused by the residual heat of the day. I felt moisture gather along my hairline and down the dip of her back. I didn't care.

"Santana it is Ana. What have they given you?" Her voice held a tinge of amusement.

"Nothing. I've done nothing. I'm just really happy to be here."

"Yeah right. Let's get you two back inside. It's far too cold for you two to be running around half naked." We followed the light, it made me think of a giant oversized firefly. Brittany was like a firefly. She shone in the dark. My fire nymph.

I don't know what possessed me, but I lifted up her hair to blow gently against her neck. She laughed and leapt away from me. I followed her, drawn to her strangeness and joy. I stubbed my toe on something but I continued to pursue her, not feeling the pain. It was a dull echo.

I caught up to her, trying to grasp at her hands, but they kept moving, just beyond my reach. Like a mouse teasing a cat.

"Unicorn," she whispered before we entered the hut. "Unicorn come closer," I trod carefully closer to the nymph.

"I will paint you the next time I see you." With that she tapped my nose and disappeared inside leaving my chest tightened and my heart heavy with hope.

I peered in through the window and stared in wonder. People seemed to be becoming more intimate. Kurt was kissing some boy with dark, curly hair very passionately. I couldn't see Mercedes I didn't know where she had gone.

But the moonlight nymph seemed to be heavily involved with Noah. Her hands working the same path as the girl prior, sliding down his stomach.

I wanted to pull away; I could feel a blush creeping up my neck. My shyness began to kick in again, but I just couldn't move. Especially when she stood up abruptly, twirling repeatedly over to a side table. Whatever it was she picked up glinted and before I could blink she moved back to Noah and began cutting away the hair on both sides of his head.

I couldn't believe what she was doing and I couldn't believe he was letting her. She left a patch of hair running down the centre and he looked absolutely ridiculous. I continued to laugh lightly, leaning into the glass for support and I began to close my eyes.

I liked this feeling. I could get used to this.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


	3. Shower

_**My Summer Of Love **_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do however own this story, I'm just borrowing the characters.**

**A/N: **Thanks guys for reviewing! I really appreciate it. This chapter is relatively short as I felt guilty for not having updated in awhile. Let me know what you think and if you have any input then please don't hesitate to contact me. The next chapter will have more plot development than this one I promise!

Thanks! C x

* * *

**Chapter Three ~**

**Shower**

I felt awful. It was six in the morning and it felt like I had been beaten. I rolled to the side to see a silhouette and I screamed. I screamed until my throat hurt and I thought my head was going to explode.

Ana came in dishevelled wielding a pan of some sort, her other hand groped blindly for the light switch. When the room flooded with light I realised I had been screaming over a chair. A chair that had piles upon piles of clothes sitting on it.

"What is it Santana?" She lowered the pan to her side and perched on the edge of my bed.

I breathed in deeply trying to calm my rapidly beating heart. "I thought I saw someone in here." My aunt laughed. It was a laugh that seemed light and full of sunshine. She slapped her hand down at the foot of my bed, making me jump slightly. I couldn't believe how opposite Ana was to my mother. She seemed to be so full of joy and my mother – she was tied down to a routine that was followed along to the letter.

"So do you remember last night?" She seemed to be shining with some kind of mischief, her lip twitched as she tried to not give herself away.

"Yes I do thank you." But she continued to stare at me, her wide secretive smile reached all the way up to her eyes, making the skin at the corners scrunch up.

"So you remember _every. Little. Detail?_" I nodded my head in frustration. She stood up slowly and deliberately, walking and then hovering around in the doorway.

"Ok then sweet pea, I'm gonna head back to bed and Santana?" I looked back up at her.

"So you won't be shocked when I tell you that you stripped to your underwear last night and let Brittany paint you?" My heart was racing. I was certain that didn't happen. I just fell asleep after watching Noah's head get shaved and woke up here. It didn't happen.

Except, why would Ana lie? I focussed back on her and what she saw must've been thrilling because she threw her head back in exaggerated laughter that seemed to carry all the way down the hall as she left.

I felt humiliated. No, it did not happen. I was adamant that she was lying. But after that I was definitely not getting back to sleep. I flung my sheets off of myself, the heat causing them to stick to me slightly, but as it slowly peeled away the smallest dots of colour could be seen sprinkled all over the linen.

I daren't look down. But when I finally did, I found the optimistic smile of a cartoon unicorn staring back up at me. I wanted to remember so badly, but I couldn't even begin to conjure up an image. I guess I would have to wait for Ana to reawaken and ask her to fill in the blanks for me. One thing was for certain though. I was never doing drugs again. If my parents had witnessed such improper behaviour I would've been hit _a lot_. I shudder to think of the other punishments my father would've given me.

But he wasn't here. My mother wasn't here. Just my laid back aunt and a group of open minded individuals. But I don't think I was quite there yet.

I gathered a towel from the closet at the end of the hall and walked into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror seeing rainbow colours painted all around my eyes. It seemed so hazy and vague the events of last night that I don't think I would ever be able to define them as fact. I reached for the soap and shampoo, perching them precariously on the edge of the bath tub. I grasped two hands around the tap to see if I could get it working and finally shower. As I performed these mundane tasks my mind drifted back to what Brittany and her friends must think of me. I must've seemed like some uptight square; an inexperienced, fumbling foolish child that was embarrassed by everything.

I felt embarrassed that probably countless people saw me in my underwear, frolicking around looking every bit the nerd. I dipped my hand beneath the stream of water to see if it was hot yet. It was and so I stripped off my remaining garments, stepped into it and began scrubbing at my skin. The trouble was it wasn't coming off completely. Faint hues of pink and blue marked my stomach and I realised she had drawn it so that the unicorn's eye was my belly button. My face flushed with heat as I realised how close she must've been to me, brushing gentle strokes of colour across my stomach. I wondered if she thought my stomach flat and toned enough.

I traced the outlines of colour gently with the tip of my fingers and I never realised how soft my own hands were, or how my body pulsed slightly beneath such a light, steady hand. I was mapping unchartered territory, owning and memorising my stomach and the dips that formed me. I felt hotter and the steam in that tiny room comforted me – it was like a cloak of invisibility and I felt safe.

I tried to remember Brittany being that close to me and when I couldn't I imagined what it would feel like. I traced a line particularly close to the underside of my breast and felt a cool tingle run up my back and rest upon my shoulder blades. Even my skin prickled and turned into goose flesh. With every touch it felt like the coolness was flowing upwards inside of me and a slow burning heat was trickling lower and lower to the very bottom of my stomach.

A fleeting thought of how embarrassing this is was quickly drowned out by the temptation of feeling pleasure for once. I had always wondered whether touching yourself would really make you feel as good as people said. The stories were mere whispers, something titillating to idle by the time but I wondered how you would even go about it. But I felt the urge and for once I would act upon it.

I breathed in deeply and clenched my eyes shut; for fear that if they were open I would become too shy and stop. I was acting on impulse. I could feel the shiver creeping up over every vertebrae of my spin as my hand slid lower in time with the heat. I didn't know why but I used one hand to prop myself up against the tiles on the walls as my other hand continued its slow path downwards. I smashed my eyes even more tightly together as I felt the embarrassment burn flame hot upon my face.

I tentatively stroked, unsure that any of this was normal. I pressed a little harder against the smooth slick feeling; I felt a slight tingle as I ran two fingers gently over the plumpness of a part of me that I felt too uncomfortable to look at.

"HOLA preciosa I just wanted to make sure..."

My eyes sprung open as I fumbled around to make it seem like I wasn't doing anything but it was too late, Ana's eyes were wide and unblinking.

"Never mind, don't worry, I see you got everything working. I meant the shower. You got the shower working, because sometimes it's too stiff and you have to keep tugging it. The shower. Yep shower. Breakfast in five."

A lump rose in my throat as she shot quickly out making sure the door was firmly closed behind her.

I was mortified.

I balled my hands up into fists and pressed them deeply into my eyes, willing it all to be some kind of terrible nightmare. But it wasn't, it was all too real. As I dragged my hands down my face, the sludge of the paint dragged with it, smearing it into some kind of freakish clown no doubt. It was a little reminder that not only had I been attempting to touch myself, but I was trying to do so with the image of Brittany clear in my mind.

I really didn't want to go downstairs for breakfast now.


	4. Into Something Good

_**My Summer Of Love **_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I do however own this story, I'm just borrowing the characters. **

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait folks! C x

* * *

**Chapter 4~**

**Into Something Good**

The humiliation and embarrassment had festered in my mind. I found myself reluctantly going downstairs to be greeted by Ana smiling to her self as she sipped at her coffee. She must've heard me coming.

"Did you have a good time in the shower?" She asked trying to smother her smirk by taking another sip of her coffee. I ignored her, hoping that this could be gotten over with and quickly.

I slipped some bread into the toaster, trying my best to delay sitting down at the table with Ana. But I could feel her eyes on me and the hint of amusement that seemed to linger in the air. I continued to fuss over little things – picking at a mark on the countertop, arranging mugs in order of size and making sure all the cupboards were closed properly. But no matter where I went in the kitchen I could feel her following me.

"Preciosa sit down will you, I wont bring it up just stop fidgeting and sit." I glanced over my shoulder at her taking in her expression and thinking that she would be true to her word I sat down across the table from her. She placed her mug down and shifted her chair forward an even bigger smile spreading across her face.

"But-" I groaned knowing that whatever was going to be said would lead to further mortification. "- you should know it isn't just boys who masturbate, girls do it too and that's ok". I covered my face with my hands hoping to suppress the blush on my cheeks. "Honestly preciosa, everyone does it there's nothing wrong with it".

I wished the floor would part beneath my chair just so that I could avoid having this conversation.

"Can we stop please Ana, I don't want to talk about it". She nodded and went to pick up her mug, but she hesitated and pulled her hand back. "Have you had sex yet?" Her tone was frank but kind.

"ANA!" The shock of her asking _that_ question made me raise my voice. She held her hands up in front of her in a placating manner, but I could feel my heart racing. She seemed to be waiting.

"I'm not married so no I haven't". I folded my arms across my chest defensively. Ana scoffed and resumed drinking her coffee.

I couldn't believe she asked me that, did she seriously think my parents would've brought me up to have no morals? I mean sure it was something that people did here, Brittany and Noah in particular but that made them different – I wasn't sure if that was a bad different or a good different but still... I mean sure I slipped up this morning in giving myself pleasure but that was the first time and it wont happen again.

I wonder what Brittany is up to right now?

"Preciosa your toast is burning and Brittany is probably still asleep." With that Ana stood up putting her mug in the sink and disappearing off. I sat there for a beat longer then realising what she said I leapt up and grabbed the toast from the toaster and threw it in the trash. I felt my face get hot as I realised I must've said all or at least part of what I was thinking out loud. Things just weren't going to go my way today, I could feel it.

* * *

During the day Ana had taken me out to pick up some new clothes and some make up. Whilst we were shopping I had to constantly fight against my urge to choose a capped sleeve dress – I wanted to fit in after all. As soon as we got home I changed into a short yellow dress with a bright orange scarf to tie around my waist and brightly coloured diamond patterned tights with brown knee high boots. I stared at myself in the mirror and couldn't help but feel giddy, I didn't look like myself at all I looked kind of... nice for a change.

I walked out into the hallway looking for my aunt – I wanted a second opinion on my outfit. I found her sitting in the family room watching the television.

"Ana what is this you're watching?"

She turned around in her chair to face me. "The Monkees have you ever seen it?"

I shook my head no and began to settle on the other chair when she frowned at me.

"What do you think you're doing?" I shot back up off of the chair and stood awkwardly.

"Sorry Ana I was just going to watch the programme with you but I can go to my room instead?"

"Preciosa you have lost your mind. You shouldn't be inside, especially when you're dressed to go out." I looked down at my clothes and began fumbling with the hem of my dress.

"Go to Dan and Lydia's I'll be over later ok? Oh and don't forget to eat before you go." My heart was still racing a little from thinking that I was in trouble. I went to the kitchen and grabbed some fruit, smoothing down my dress I began to make my way to the front door.

"Santana, take the watermelon with you it's in the fridge. Whatever you do don't eat the whole thing to yourself either." I furrowed my brow in confusion but nonetheless did as Ana asked. I ate an apple quickly and retrieved the watermelon.

"Also Santana you look lovely, those boots were made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do." I smiled at her attempt to boost my confidence but not even Nancy Sinatra could help right now. With a final goodbye I left for Brittany's house I was still somewhat nervous about what they thought of me.

The sun was shining, bright and white hot. I tilted my face upwards appreciating the warmth as I strolled leisurely along the sidewalk; it was comfortable and incredibly calming. I inhaled deeply the heady scents of tiny yellow flowers that pepper the grass verges that I pass. Everything just seems bright and better, I suppressed the urge to sit down and not move.

But me feet carried me forward and before I knew it I was at Dan and Lydia's house. I still knocked on the front door out of courtesy but I didn't wait for an answer. I went straight for the garden to the hut, holding the watermelon tightly against myself for reassurance. I opened the door and found Mercedes and Kurt... and no one else.

"Oh hello" I noticed their clothing was a little muted today along with their expressions. I couldn't help but think I walked in on a private conversation and I wished I'd knocked first.

"Hey Santana right?" Mercedes asked, Kurt was stoic. I nodded my head.

"I don't mean to be rude but have you seen Brittany anywhere?"

"Yeah she's still in bed; it's the first left when you get up the stairs." Whilst Mercedes spoke Kurt was eyeing the watermelon tucked under my arm. I cradled it in my arms and held it out to him.

"Ana sent it, but she said not to eat it all. Well, I mean, she told me not to eat it all." Kurt took it hesitantly from me - a grimace twisting his mouth downwards, however, Mercedes eyes seemed to spark with excitement.

"It's an alcohol melon! Kurt come on you've got to have a slice. Remember last time when you blurted –" Kurt elbowed her in the side.

"Tell Ana thanks Santana." I nodded and took that as my cue to leave, I hadn't been listening properly anyway as I was repeating the directions to her room. However, as I was leaving, I heard Kurt shout that normally she woke up in a bad mood.

I rushed up the stairs and knocked on the first door on the left and I couldn't help but notice it had a rainbow with eyes stuck to it. When I heard a muffled groan I entered to find her sprawled face down on her bed, the sheets twisted around her waist. But from her waist upwards her back was exposed and naked. I felt my heart rate pick up and a warmth settle into my bones that I wasn't familiar with.

I followed the smooth curve of her back, like cream and silk all the way up to her long, elegant neck. Her lips parted slightly as she breathed, light, gentle breaths and her eyes fluttered open trying to fight the invasion of light.

"Brittany are you ok?" Brittany nuzzled her pillow and stretched her arms out to the side and rolled over.

"Oh hey Unicorn, how's it going?" She flashed me a small smile – the kind of smile that someone uses when harbouring a secret. But that wasn't what I was mainly staring at. Her small, round breasts bounced slightly as she sat upright and I didn't know where to look. So I settled on the wall behind me, but it had a long, ornate mirror that reflected back Brittany's nude perfection.

"Fine, Brittany would you like me to get you some clothes?" I heard a soft giggle come from behind me as I dropped my gaze to the floor.

"And why would you need to do that Unicorn, when I'm perfectly capable of retrieving my clothes myself?" My hands felt clammy, nervous sweat dewing along my hairline as I heard her stand up and walk in my direction. Slowly and torturously I felt her lean against my back, her breasts nudging softly against me.

"You're in my way" her voice was lower a mere whisper against the shell of my ear, I felt a shiver work its way downwards at the caress of her words. My breathing shallow.

"Sorry" my words trembling from my mouth, shaken and timid.

I stepped to the side not daring to look at her, the drawer opened and closed. She began humming a tune that I recognised and began to say a couple of the words.

"You know Herman's Hermits?" Her voice was tinged with joy. "Of course I do. Who doesn't?" I chanced a look in her direction and found her dressed all in white, making the blues of her eyes even brighter. She looked so beautiful and I knew at that moment it was envy I was feeling – envy at her perfection.


End file.
